“that eggo is preggo. no doubt about.” - the guy in the store in juno.
no really, this is the reaction of lactase. all swollen n gassy. hurts like hell.

omg, i’m like so sick of my stomach. it sucks cock. like i can’t eat ANYTHING without gettin all gassy n smelly. who would like to live with me in the future?! i’m thinking of going all like raw food or organic or whatever. like making everything from scratch. then my belly might be keen and cooperate… i hope.

i really have to quit denying my femenine side. i mean i know i am heading the right way but i need to be more femenine. i shouldn’t be scared of glossy lips, silky hair, frosting n pink purses. i think being femenine would make me more confident about myself. so, start the womenizing.

just started another blog. this time at devote. wanted a more structured and clean blog. serious too. and less personal. so let’s see how long it takes til i grow sick of this one. never, i hope.

DAMMIT! i ate lactas. now my belly hurts and i’m dying.

i’m like way overthinking of this one person. i don’t even know if i’m attracted to him or if he’s just exciting since he’s kinda interested in me but he’s like forbidden fruit or something.

and today i smiled and said hello to axel. he sat with a lot of classmates. and he was like not smiling and said hello very quick and quite angry-ish. why can’t he tell me if he has a problem with me? why would he be like i’d really like for us to be friends hanna? is he fake or just scared? idk. i shouldn’t care cause it would effect me in a very negative way and i would be even more depressed. obs, the reason i’m depressed is not because of axel. i don’t know of the reason though. but i don’t think it’s axel.

so my dad asked me if i was in love since it seemed like it. and i was like what? i am quite depressed right now. but i didn’t tell him. but i’m like a bit confused. so, that’s the thing.

in the mornings i’m like no i don’t need a lot of food. and then for lunch i keep thinking like that. and then i come home and i’m like yeah i’ll have some sandwiches. and then comes the evening and i’m like FOOOOOD!! frustrating.

well i kinda not feeling anything. not sad, not happy, not angry etc etc and it’s making me quite depressed. or feeling nothing IS the depression. idk. my mom asked me what was wrong today. and since idk i couldn’t answer.

tonite i dreamt i met lars winnerbäck. it was absolutely amazing. i can still remember the feeling and i still get goosebumps. i wish it was reality though.

i’m like hatin everyone. and i’m lonely. sux.

i don’t want to drink like a lot of booze tonight cause 1. don’t wanna puke in the bus. 2. don’t wanna waste todays workout. 3. don’t wanna regret things tomorrow. but at the same time i can’t say no when someone’s offering it to me. don’t wanna be the boring one.

it’s like this body complex of mine is controlling my days now. and i’m trying to balance between hunger and complex. like, i want to be skinny and not hungry at the same time. and like, i can’t think of anything else and it’s exhausting.